His Heart

“How far away is my heart, Mommy?” Nicholas asks me.

“Your heart is inside your body, baby. It isn’t far.”

“Yes, it is far. It’s very very far away. That’s why Heller is far away.”

“Heller is far away, to you, because you can’t see him. You can’t see him because he is in Heaven. But, he is also in your heart because you love him. We say, ‘he is in our hearts’ because our hearts feel our love, and we love him forever.”

Nicholas is insistent. “My heart is far far away. Very far. Further than the farthest far.”

I try again.

“When we love somebody, or something, we say that it is in our heart. It means, our heart holds a part of that thing forever and ever. You are in my heart, Jenny is in my heart, Daddy is in my heart. It means we love someone.”

Nicholas gets the final words. “Well, I love my stuffed animals, but they are not in my heart. They are at home, on my bed.”

I’ll try again tomorrow.

A Secret About the Light Inside

You aren’t fooling anybody, Mr. Happy Pumpkin.
Especially me.

I saw what they did to you.
I helped in fact.

Your insides were full of seeds and string.
But, we scooped it out—my mommy, my sister, and me.

And now, here you sit,
with a happy smile and a wink.

Mommy says, “It’s possible to show the world you are happy,
even if your insides are scooped.”

She knows the secret. Something about a light inside.

She says it is hard sometimes, but if we show our light,
and make others happy,
we can be happy too.

So, you aren’t fooling anybody, Mr. Happy Pumpkin.
I see your light!

And hey! It makes me happy!